Who Lives under the sea? Jodah, The Uni- Wait, huh?
What’s in the Secret Lair?
The full contents of the Secret Lair drop have been revealed and it’s a mix of meme-worthy cards, flavorful Commanders, and some surprisingly stunning lands. Here’s the breakdown:
- The Commanders:
- SpongeBob, Soaking Up Wisdom (a reimagined Kiora, Behemoth Beckoner)
- Patrick, Starry-Eyed Dreamer (a reimagined Aesi, Tyrant of Gyre Strait)
- Squidward, Tentacle Tactician (a reimagined Kinnan, Bonder Prodigy)
- Mr. Krabs, Avid Acquisitor (a reimagined Chulane, Teller of Tales)
- Plankton, the Ever-Hungry (a reimagined Zaxara, the Exemplary)
- Gary, the Snail (a reimagined Toxrill, the Corrosive)
- Sandy Cheeks, Martial Astronaut (a reimagined Toski, Bearer of Secrets)
These cards are chef’s kiss when it comes to capturing the essence of the characters. SpongeBob drawing cards? Patrick ramping into big creatures? Plankton creating Hydra tokens? It’s all so on-brand, and I’m here for it. - The Meme Cards:
- Force of Despair
- Daze
- Counter Spell
- Inevitable Betrayal
- Night’s Whisper
While these are fun and flavorful, I’ve got to admit, I’m a little disappointed with the lack of original art here. The meme-style text and visuals are cute, but they feel a bit out of place compared to the rest of the set. - The Lands:
- Full-art basics featuring iconic SpongeBob locations like Bikini Bottom, Jellyfish Fields, and the Krusty Krab. These are gorgeous and easily the highlight of the drop for me. (We can’t forget about the Food (Krabby Patty) Token! )
My Thoughts: A Mixed Bag of Krabby Patties
Let’s get real for a second. I’m a huge fan of Magic’s IP collaborations. Universes Beyond has given us some incredible sets (looking at you, Lord of the Rings), and I love that Magic is branching out to bring in new players. But this SpongeBob drop? It’s a bit of a mixed bag.
- The Good:
The Commanders are fantastic. They’re flavorful, mechanically interesting, and feel like they were designed with love. The lands are also a home run—I’d happily slot those into any deck. - The Meh:
The meme cards, while fun, feel like a missed opportunity. I would’ve loved to see original art for cards like Daze and Counterspell instead of just slapping a SpongeBob screen grab on them. It’s not bad, but it’s not as exciting as it could’ve been. - The Ugly:
Okay, there’s no ugly here. Even the meme cards are charming in their own way. But I do worry about how far Magic can push these collaborations before it starts to feel like a gimmick.
Should You Buy It?
Here’s the thing: Magic is like a buffet, as Mark Rosewater wisely said. There’s something for everyone, and you don’t have to eat everything on the table. If you’re a SpongeBob fan, this Secret Lair is a no-brainer. The Commanders and lands alone make it worth it.
But if you’re not into SpongeBob or the meme-heavy cards, that’s okay too. Not every product is going to be for everyone, and that’s the beauty of Magic. There’s always another set, another Secret Lair, or another collaboration around the corner.
Remember: Life is a stack, and I’m here to clear it.
P.S. If you’re on the fence about this drop, just ask yourself: “What would SpongeBob do?”